Relationships Are About Compromise, so Lets Do Everything I Say

Derick and I met up every chance we got. Before work, after work, during lunch break, doctors appointments. Nothing got in the way. When we couldn’t reach the other, we would make it work and Facetime for two hours. I was shocked towards the end of relationship when Derick wanted to meet up with an old friend in town. Why wasn’t I invited? Why were plans not set for after? I said I could get to his apartment at midnight and he told me that was “unnecessary.” Ladies, I’ve held many relationships, most lasting four months, I can call myself a relationship expert. What Derick did was a huge red flag. Compromise is a must, and if you’re not getting everything you want, then you need to get out. With my vast experience, I’m going to explain the power of compromise.

Be upfront, tell him what you want as soon as possible. Relationships are based on honesty. You need to tell your partner what you’re comfortable with, what drives you crazy and a detailed timeline of when you want every milestone to occur. A year ago, I met Jake on Bumble. Before we met I told him I was looking for a relationship and I hated partying. Jake was in total agreement, or so I thought. When we met for our first date, he said he felt “uncomfortable” with me labeling our relationship to our waiter. I kicked Jake right to the curb. What kind of guy says he wants a relationship, but won’t commit date 1?

Commitment shouldn’t ever feel hard. When you’re with the right person, it should be the easiest part of your life. Think about it. You’re at work or school all day, you’re dealing with commutes, annoying strangers, drama with friends, at the end of the day you come home to your silver lining. Your partner should be around to do everything hard for you to make your life easier. In college, my boyfriend Carl would cook me dinner, call my mom, did my homework and sponge bathed me. He knew the little things that made me happy. One night, I woke up from a loud knock on the door, it was campus police. Apparently, Carl wasn’t happy anymore and wanted to leave. Carl couldn’t commit to compromising and that was that!

Don’t be afraid to fall in love. Say I love you as soon as you can and as many times as you can! Life is too short to not let the ones you love know how much you care! Life is also too short to not hear it back immediately. Keep saying it until they compromise and say it back even if later on they tell you they only said it to “shut you up.”